A Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) is a legal action that terminates all of a parents rights to make decisions for a child or to care for that child.

A Termination of Parental Rights may be voluntary or involuntary. All too often parents are pressured into relinquishing their rights based on allegations of abuse, neglect or abandonment. The consequences are significant and long lasting. A parent should never enter into such proceedings unrepresented. The result is often final.

Under Minnesota Statutes, a juvenile court may, upon petition, terminate ALL rights of a parent to a child. It may do so:

1. with the written consent of a parent who for good cause desires to terminate parental rights (Note: wishing to avoid a child support obligation is not “good cause);
2. if it finds that one or more of the following conditions exist:

   • that the parent has abandoned the child;
   • that the parent has substantially, continuously, or repeatedly refused or neglected to comply with the duties imposed upon that parent by the parent and child relationship, including but not limited to providing the child with necessary food, clothing, shelter, education, and other care and control necessary for the child’s physical, mental, or emotional health and development, if the parent is physically and financially able, and either reasonable efforts by the social services agency have failed to correct the conditions that formed the basis of the petition or reasonable efforts would be futile and therefore unreasonable;
   • that a parent has been ordered to contribute to the support of the child or financially aid in the child’s birth and has continuously failed to do so without good cause. This clause shall not be construed to state a grounds for termination of parental rights of a noncustodial parent if that parent has not been ordered to or cannot financially contribute to the support of the child or aid in the child’s birth;
   • that a parent is palpably unfit to be a party to the parent and child relationship because of a consistent pattern of specific conduct before the child or of specific conditions directly relating to
     the parent and child relationship either of which are determined by the court to be of a duration or nature that renders the parent unable, for the reasonably foreseeable future, to care appropriately for the ongoing physical, mental, or emotional needs of the child. It is presumed that a parent is palpably unfit to be a party to the parent and child relationship upon a showing that the parent’s parental rights to one or more other children were involuntarily terminated or that the parent’s custodial rights to another child have been involuntarily transferred to a relative under section 260C.201, Subd 11, paragraph (e), clause (1), or a similar law of another jurisdiction;
   • that following the child’s placement out of the home, reasonable efforts, under the direction of the court, have failed to correct the conditions leading to the child’s placement. It is presumed that reasonable efforts under this clause have failed upon a showing that:

     • (i) a child has resided out of the parental home under court order for a cumulative period of 12 months within the preceding 22 months. In the case of a child under age eight at the time the petition was filed alleging the child to be in need of protection or services, the presumption arises when the child has resided out of the parental home under court order for six months unless the parent has maintained regular contact with the child and the parent is complying with the out-of-home placement plan;
     • the court has approved the out-of-home placement plan required under section 260C.212 and filed with the court under section 260C.178;
     • conditions leading to the out-of-home placement have not been corrected. It is presumed that conditions leading to a child’s out-of-home placement have not been corrected upon a showing that the parent or parents have not substantially complied with the court’s orders and a reasonable case plan; and
     • reasonable efforts have been made by the social services agency to rehabilitate the
       parent and reunite the family It should be noted that that parental right may be terminated prior to one year, or in the case of a child under age eight, prior to six months after a child has been placed out of the home.
       

       It is also presumed that reasonable efforts have failed under this clause upon a showing that:

       • the parent has been diagnosed as chemically dependent by a professional certified to make the diagnosis;
       • the parent has been required by a case plan to participate in a chemical dependency treatment program;
       • the treatment programs offered to the parent were culturally, linguistically, and clinically appropriate;
       • the parent has either failed two or more times to successfully complete a treatment program or has refused at two or more separate meetings with a caseworker to participate in a treatment program; and
       • the parent continues to abuse chemicals.

   • that a child has experienced egregious harm in the parent’s care which is of a nature, duration, or chronicity that indicates a lack of regard for the child’s well-being, such that a reasonable person would believe it contrary to the best interest of the child or of any child to being in the parent’s care;
   • that in the case of a child born to a mother who was not married to the child’s father when the child was conceived nor when the child was born the person is not entitled to notice of an adoption hearing under section 259.49 and the person has not registered with the fathers’ adoption registry under section 259.52;
   • that the child is neglected and in foster care; or
   • that the parent has been convicted of a crime listed in section 260.012, paragraph b,
     clauses (1) to (3).

   In an action involving an American Indian child, sections 260.751 to 260.835 and the Indian Child Welfare Act, United States Code, title 25, sections 1901 to 1923, control to the extent that the provisions of this section are inconsistent with those laws.

A termination of parental rights requires a high standard of proof and must be proven by clear and convincing evidence. Any person with knowledge of the circumstances may seek to terminate parental rights. The end result of a termination is that the all rights of the parent may be terminated but it does not extinguish that parents responsibility to pay any past balance for child support.

Baby Care crib bedding is not just good enough; it is great for the most beautiful baby in the world. Everybody loves babies because they are special. They cannot fend for themselves, yet they seem to exude hope for the future. Since babies are the future, the people who care for them want the very best for them. They want the softest, warmest, most beautiful home, for more details visit to www.create-super-baby.com clothes and car for their baby. Baby Care crib bedding provides the care and comfort for these little treasures. Babies spend a good portion of their time in their crib when they first arrive in this world so their crib and bedding should be of the highest quality.

Baby Care crib bedding provides a savvy consumer with a great selection of the highest quality. All of the products are made from the finest materials. The sheets are the softest available on the market. Each baby has the softest skin, for more details visit to www.baby-care-book.com and the thought of the baby resting on anything but the best sheets in the world is unacceptable. The sheets in any of the Baby Care crib bedding are made from the finest materials. The sheets come in a variety of colors that will fit into the décor of the wonderful nursery developed by each doting parent.

Baby Care Crib Bedding Complements the Room of every Baby

One of the duties of parents as they wait for the arrival of their baby is the preparation of a special nursery for the early years in the life of their baby. The room and everything in it is usually very special. Baby Care crib bedding comes with many different themes and colors to fit in with the best nursery in the world. There are special Baby Care cribs bedding sets for the little boy who will undoubtedly love sports when he grows older. There are sets that highlight the most popular sports including baseball, football, basketball and soccer.

For the wonderful little girl, Baby Care crib bedding comes in designs that will delight the most beautiful ever to land on this planet. Some of the Baby Care crib bedding sets is especially for dancers in colors that will enchant the parents of each future ballerina. There are sets for the little girls with kitties, monkeys, frogs and pretty princesses. The comforters and sheets come in satins of soft pinks and cottons of lovely colors.

Are you looking for a man at a dating for parents site that can accept you? What qualities are you looking for? What qualities SHOULD you be looking for? Now that you are confident enough to go into Single Parents Dating, it is now time to talk about guys.

To be part of a couple, you would need someone to be a couple with. In short, you need a guy so that you can be one-half of a couple. Inane reasoning, yes, but still the truth. It takes two to tango and two to make a relationship.

So where are we going with this? This is the focus on your prospect guy. This man might be your soul mate, and Dating for Parents is just the tool that would lead the two of you together.

Okay, so the biggest advantage in going online dating at a dating for parents site is that everyone knows what to expect. Most men on that site already know that most of the ladies are single mums, so you won’t have to go through the awkward phase of telling your man that you are a single mum.

Now, I’m not saying that the whole coming out with the fact that you have kids is awkward, but one must admit that if you aren’t the one who feels awkward with it, then the guy is. Single parents dating service eliminates this, thus you can get past that phase and go on to more important matters such as getting to know each other better.

Alright, so with Single Parents Dating, your guy would know what to expect. He would know that you won’t be available all the time because you need time to be with your kids.

One of the things that would let you know if your guy is a keeper is if he knows when to step back when he knows that you need to spend time with the kids. He doesn’t whine or coerce you to staying longer with him.

Because you know within yourself that your son’s soccer final game or your daughter’s ballet recital is more important, your guy should know that too.

And what’s more, he would be really great if he knows that and doesn’t hold it against you.

And you know what is one more thing that’s good with Single Parents Dating? It’s the fact that your prospective partners there already know what a keeper you are because they know that you are a single mom. He knows that you are bound to be responsible and hard-working, and he would value that.

He knows that you are a strong woman who can take in the responsibilities of motherhood. And he also knows and appreciates the fact that you are one woman who is risking her heart for him, to love again.

What are the things that are holding you back from engaging in Dating for Parents? Is it a “YOU” issue or a “KIDS” issue or a “HIM” issue? Do you know what you can do to help eliminate these unwanted doubts and hesitations? Do you want to move on?

Actually, the “HIM” and the “KIDS” issues can be overcome once you get over the “YOU” issues that you have. You need to resolve your personal issues, your personal hesitations and doubts, and for sure, all the other issues would just go away on their own. Once you know your place and you stand up for what you want and need, the rest would just follow.

Alright, so here are some few tips on how to boost your confidence and kiss those doubts and hesitations behind:

a. Give yourself a confidence boost. Meaning, don’t bring yourself down. Most single mums hesitate on Parents Dating, even dating in general, because they seem to think that dating is not for them anymore. This is really wrong because you deserve as much of a chance to find your soul mate as the next single lady. If anything, you deserve double the chance because of the things that you have endured in life, and the way you have overcome all of the trials. Look into the mirror and gaze at the woman that you are, strong and lovely, and deserving her very own Prince Charming.

b. Remember your strengths. When in doubt remember that you are a strong, courageous, beautiful woman, who up to this point, managed to raise beautiful children single-handed. And we all know that raising kids is not a walk in the park. It requires skill, strength that not a lot of people have. But you have managed to pull it off beautifully. Because of your kids, you have also developed your patience, and your ability to love unconditionally. Because of the things that you have been through, you see life in a different light, by thanking and appreciating all the things that come your way. This would be seen by your Parents Already date. He will see what a wonderful person you are and what a catch you can be. he will see how lucky he is to have you!

c. You are a light to this world, and you would do well to know that. You are an inspiration to your kids, friends, and family for standing up by yourself. You are a light and the man that you choose to share your light with would be one lucky man. Never think otherwise.

So now that your doubts again, all the rest should just follow. You deserve your very own Happy Ending. And if you see Prince Charming in that happy ending, then go find him at a good Dating for Parents website.

Taking care of a newborn baby can be an overwhelming experience for any mom. The tasks involved in baby care – from feeding to diapering to getting your baby to sleep – can be both an emotional and stressful time. However, following some simple tips can help you and provide you with what you know about how to take care of your newborn.

Baby Care Tips

The most important thing to remember is that even if you’re a first time mom, you should always trust your instincts when it comes to taking care of your infant. If you are in doubt about something, whether it be your child’s sleep patterns or how often you should feed your baby, do not hesitate to contact your health care provider.

While it may not seem like it at first, know that eventually you will be able to establish a normal routine with your baby. Feeding and sleep time will take place at more or less set times, although it will probably be unlikely that you will be able to have a fixed schedule. This can be especially helpful for stay at home moms who may also have other children to care for and household duties to which to attend.

Feeding is a central component of infant care and is essential to your baby’s health. Make sure not to restrict the length and frequency of feedings, as your baby needs proper nutrition in order to grow at a healthy rate. If you are breastfeeding, follow these helpful breastfeeding tips:

• nurse your baby as soon as possible after birth
• use a pillow to support your baby as well as for your comfort
• establish proper latch on (make sure your baby’s mouth completely covers your nipple)

Working moms can also speak to their employers about breastfeeding policies at the workplace, as well as make alternative arrangements, such as pumping milk beforehand, so that baby gets the nutrition he needs while you’re on the job.

If you experience any pain during breastfeeding, or if your baby is having trouble latching on, talk to your health care provider.

New moms are also concerned about baby sleep safety. Your newborn might sleep for up to 16 hours each day, generally sleeping for 3 to 4 hours at a time.

The following tips can help encourage healthy sleep in your newborn, as proper sleep is essential to baby care:

• always put your baby in her crib for sleep time; this will help her associate sleeping with her crib and help to establish a routine
• put your baby to sleep on her back; this reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
• reduce stimulation at night; dim the lights prior to bedtime and stay silent or speak in only soothing voices to help lull your baby to sleep. It can also be helpful to establish a bedtime routine; for example, make bath time prior to bed time.
• make sure there’s nothing in or near your baby’s crib, including bedding, stuffed animals and drapes; these objects could pose a hazard to your newborn

Is your baby still crying? Soothing a crying baby can be a frustrating and emotionally draining experience for a mom, even if you’re a second or third time mom.

Sitting in a rocking chair or carrying your baby close to you can help soothe your newborn. Also, going for a walk or a ride in the car can help your newborn relax, as can speaking in soothing tones or singing to your baby. Wrapping your child in a blanket can also help calm your baby. If you are feeling frustrated, take a few minutes to breathe deeply.

Always remember that you’re not alone when taking care of your newborn. Even if you’re a single parent, you still have resources available – including your health care provider, family and friends – to provide you with advice on how to take care of your newborn.

Also, remember that your baby is unique and therefore requires different care as she develops at her own rate. This is particularly true of special needs children; be loving and attentive with your baby and try to respond to her unique requirements as best as you can. Remember, no mom is perfect – there’s no such thing! The important thing is that you bond with your bundle of joy.

What are the aspects of child rearing that are most important to the modern parents of today?

When we look at this issue, we can only symphatise with the modern parents of today because most of them are working or running some full time jobs. There is so little time to spend with the children and babies, if both parents are working , and where the mother is not working, taking care of a baby is a demanding full time job itself that keeps the mother busy at all times. Indeed, taking care of a baby is a 24 hour job, because even a baby can wake up at any time during the night when the parents are trying to catch up on sleep, and so the parents are basically on call the entire day and night.

That is why we need modern tools and equipment, even toys and apparatus that can help parents raise up children in a safe and healthy environment,  and still be able to shower love and affection on the little children.With these modern conveniences, parents of today can breathe a little easier, and get some help from these tools to raise up their children in easier ways.

First and foremost, as parents, we need to care for the health of the baby, and secondly, we need to care for the safety of the baby. So our modern tools and aids to help raise a baby are concentrated towards these two important points. By using these tools and aids, parents can still get to work in their professions, and raise up a healthy child. These tools and aids are what we call Baby Care accessories.

Top on the list of baby care accessories will be the accessories that relate to the health of the baby – these are the baby’s health reporting tools and instruments that monitor the baby safety. Most of these tools and aids are fashioned with the baby in mind, and are atractively designed to please the baby’s mind after a lot of research. Most of these accessories are therefore shaped in the form of toys, of lovable animal shapes and in bright colors that can bring a smile on the baby’s face. In this way, the baby does not fear seeing bulky ugly looking instruments but will even enjoy these instruments as if they are their own toys. These tools help parents to monitor the health of the baby and their safety all the time, and therefore free the parents of some important time for them to run their work and jobs, while their babies can grow in a healthy and safe environment.

Baby care accessories that relate to the safety of the baby are:

1. Baby Safety Video Monitor or Cam
2. Baby safety crib
3. Baby Staircase Access Blocker
4. Baby Strollers
5. Baby Chair

Baby Instant care accessories that relate to the health of the baby are:
1. Thermometer or baby wireless thermometer
2. Parental heart listener
3. Duck Bath thermometer, elephant bath thermometer or the hippo bath thermometer
4. Teddy bear digital thermometer or a ear thermometer
5. Pacifier

www.babies-tips.com
www.create-super-baby.com

With these baby care accessories, parents have less of a worry during the time their babies are under child care while they are busy at work, as they know the health and safety of their babies are well taken care of while their babies are not under their direct supervision.

The care of a baby is very important for its growth and development. The care of a baby should be done both professionally and gently. The amount of care that is given to a baby greatly reflects in the later stages of a person’s life. It builds the basic character of a person. Therefore complete care should be given to a baby. All its needs should be fulfilled emotionally, physically and mentally. If complete care is not taken of the baby, the baby may not grow up to be a healthy person or the person can have various disorders in his later life.

A baby is very delicate. Almost anything and every thing have a great impact on the baby. How a baby grows up is greatly influenced by its surroundings and the people around him. The first and the foremost thing that should be noted is that the baby should be kept in a safe and secure environment. This means that if should be not too humid or damn as the baby might catch a cold. It should also be free from sharp objects. The lesser the medicines or antibiotics that are given to the baby the better it is.

The baby should be given a massage regularly. A regular message helps the bones of the baby to grow and set properly. It also helps in the growth of the baby and the development of strong bones. With a proper massage everyday, the baby will in no time be able to walk on its own acquiring balance and stability on its legs. The baby should be always kept in clean and dry diapers. This is to avoid rashes and infections. Also a baby in clean diapers will be happy and healthy.

One of the most important parts of baby care is breast feeding. A mother’s milk is the best source of nourishment for human babies. There is no substitute for mother’s milk in the diet of humans. Also many experts agree that breast feeding has many physiological effects on the baby. Therefore proper breast feeding of the baby is a must. The infant for the first two years of his life must be breast fed properly for a healthy growth of the child. Also breastfeeding passes on many anti bodies on the child’s body. This helps the child develop a strong immune system and combat many diseases that might affect it effectively. Also breast feeding strengthens that bond between a mother and her baby.

When the child is a little older a feeding bottle can be used to feed the child. Essentially a feeding bottle is used to feed baby milk. It should be held in proper angles so that the milk can flow down effectively from the bottle. The teat of the bottle must at all definite times be kept clean and sterilized. If possible a new teat should be used every time while feeding the baby although some babies might find adjusting to a new teat all the time uncomfortable.

Attention should be paid to the nature of the baby and care should be taken to ensure its proper growth. A good care of the baby is the very basic of good parenting.

You have just had a baby, and although you got many lovely baby care products at your baby shower, you would like to add to the collection some of your own preferred baby care products. However, there are many baby care products on the market, so how do you go about find the right ones?

About Baby Care Products

Now, when it comes to buying baby care products, many parents really go out of their way to find the best that money can, and in the process put a considerable dent on their budget. Remember that baby care products really should only have one function, and that is to help in taking care of the baby.

Despite that fact, many parents will buy many different baby care products regardless of the cost because they think that they higher the price, the more dependable the product. This is not always true, so as a parent be sure not to fall into that trap.

Babies basically need several things: food, diapers, clothes, a car seat, a high chair, a changing table, and a crib. Of course babies have no concept of what these things are, but they depend on those things anyway. It is up to you as the parent to choose the best ones.

For a new baby, food will basically consist of either formula milk or breast milk. If you have chosen to use formula milk, be sure that it has all of the proper nutrients needed for the baby’s health. Also, be sure that it is safely packaged.

When it comes to diapers, choose the biodegradable kind. Your baby will go through hundreds of diapers in its lifetime, and regular brand name diapers are not as easy to dispose of when it comes to being environmentally conscious. Also, be sure that the diapers are the right fit for the baby. The diaper should fit snugly, but not be too loose either.

As with baby care in general, finding the right baby care products is a learning process. Ask family and friends what they would recommend. Also, check online for user reviews of products that you have been thinking about purchasing. These sites might also tell you where and how to find them for the best price. With the proper research, you are sure to find the right baby care products.

Co-parenting isn’t easy. It’s actually quite a chore. When neither parent is willing to negotiate or communicate, the child has the job of transitioning from one parenting style to the other. As a parent educator and family therapist, I have seen many anxious and confused children affected by their parents’ inconsistent rules and styles. Sometimes children do this under the same roof and sometimes under two, but the bottom line is that it is the parents’ responsibility to create a balance.

Parenting skills vary much like personalities. The differences can be as subtle as the setting of bedtimes to as serious as choosing consequences for bad behavior. The bottom line is adults have a number of motivations for parenting. For instance, they might try to do better than their parents. Thus, we attempt to find new and effective strategies to raise good kids. These ambitions can be difficult enough. Now add the challenge of joining forces with another adult who was raised by different parents and who may be select different strategies.

So how do parents, married or divorced, stay clear and consistent, raise confident children, and feel influential as parents? They learn how to work together and become better co-parents! Here are several successful co-parenting steps:

1. Identify your personal style and motivations. Your first job in becoming a successful co-parent is to figure out your general style and motivations. If it were all up to you, how would you parent? How would you motivate your children? How would you use punishment and encouragement? What are the top 10 values you would like to teach your kids? Now ask yourself WHY? Why would your style be that way? What is your motivation? How did your parents parent you? Are you attempting to repeat their upbringing or compensate for it?
2. Share your parenting style and motivation with your co-parent. I understand that you might feel vulnerable sharing your style and motivation. Your style may be different than your spouse’s style. In order for you and your partner to co-parent successfully, you both need to appreciate and support the ideas you bring to the table. When you listen to where the other parent is coming from, it will allow you to join forces.
3. Before deciding on a parenting style and direction, consult parenting books and classes. Now that you have looked at each other’s parenting style, take a look together at good parenting books and the current research. Report back to each other and consider how your styles measure up.
4. Decide on a parenting style. You now have several examples of parenting strategies and philosophies. Its time to blend what you believe with what your co-parent believes and what the experts say. This is the ultimate in negotiation but remember that if you do not negotiate at the adult level, it leaves your child to figure it out. Once you’ve decided, then write down the basics and embrace your new co-parenting style.
5. Implement your new co-parenting style. Now you parent! Both parents are on the same page. Children are clear on what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not follow the family expectations. Thus, it lessens the occasions of arguing between the parents and the opportunities for manipulation by the children.
6. Hold weekly co-parenting meetings with your spouse. Since you are the CEOs of your family and are business partners in a very real way, you must stay in constant communication. The success or failure of your family rests in your capable hands. Thus, co-parenting meetings are a must! These meetings should include finances, home maintenance, parenting, and relationship issues. Meetings should be held weekly with schedule book, meeting journal and budget book in hand. Continue to review your parenting style. You may find that one child thrives under your new system while another loses balance. Good co-parents always re-evaluate and restructure when necessary.

We are busy parents today. It is difficult to take the time to evaluate our parenting styles but the payoff is big for you as a parenting unit as well as for your child. Co-parenting takes the pressure off our children and the conflict out of our lives.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio. The article homepage: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/family-day.html

Basics Of Parenting

            Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.   Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.   Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc.,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.  In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.  The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.  The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

            While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.   Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.   Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.    When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.    Only the parents can help these children.    One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

            In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.   Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

            Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.    The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.    Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

            There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.   Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.   The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.  It is similar to dictatorship.

            Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.  These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.   It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.   These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.   There is another mode of classifying the parents.   According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

Three Types of Parents

CONSULTANT

HELICOPTER

DRILL SERGEANT

This Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children

This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.

This parent commands and directs the lives of children.

1.

The Love and Logic parent provides messages of personal worth and strength

1.

provides messages of weakness and low personal worth

1.

provides messages of low personal worth and resistance

2.

The Love and Logic parent very seldom mentions responsibilities

2.

makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities

2.

makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.

3.

The Love and Logic parent demonstrates how to take care of self and be responsible

3.

“takes on” the responsibility of the child

3.

tells the child how he /she should handle responsibility

4.

The Love and Logic parent shares personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities

4.

protects the child from any possible negative feelings

4.

tells the child how he / she should feel

5.

The Love and Logic parent provides and helps child explore alternatives and then allows child to make his / her own decision

5.

makes decisions for the child

5.

provides absolutes : “This is the decision you should make”.

6.

The Love and Logic parent provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities

6.

provides no structure, but complaints, “After all I’ve done for you…”

6.

demands that jobs or responsibilities be done now

7.

The Love and Logic parent models doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.

7.

whines and uses guilt : “When are you ever going to learn.   I always have to clean up after you.”

7.

issues orders and threats: “You get that room cleaned up or else…”

8.

The Love and Logic parent often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” helps the child explore solutions to his / her problem

8.

whines and complains about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” much work and responsibility

8.

takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem

9.

The Love and Logic parent uses lots of actions, but very few words

9.

uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible

9.

uses lots of harsh words, very few actions

10.

The Love and Logic parent allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher

10.

protects child from natural consequences, uses guilt as the teacher

10.

uses punishment; pain and humiliation can serve as the teacher.

Source: http://www.loveandlogic.com/pdfs/threetypes.pdf

One way to identify the kind of parents is by analyzing the kind of gifts they give to their children in order to make them do any specific activity.  Some parents have a survival mentality; they give their child “whatever” just to make them do the job. Some parents operate with a default mentality.    They give their child what is popular without considering whether it will be the most helpful. In actual practice the parent should be operating deliberately and purposefully, giving the child what is useful after carefully thinking through.    They are usually known as “intentional parents” 7.   Depending on what kind or type of parents they are, the goals, and gifts also change.    In the case of permissive parents, the guiding motive will be, “If I can just make it through the child – rearing years, I can get my life back”.   Their goal will be “jilting the kids out of the house”.  They follow the easiest method of doing whatever is easy to do.  Hence, they use bribes, threats and use TV as a baby sitter8.

            On the other hand, those “who want to give the child what will be best and most helpful for him”, will have the goal of preparing the child for life as a productive adult. They would spend quality time with the child, imparting ethical values to the child.  The gifts given by such parents would be, “religious books, enjoyable pastimes, academics, home skills and chances for socialization” 9.

            If a child is to be successful in life, the appropriate parental care is necessary.    But, of course, there are children who grow up into successful adults, in spite of defective parenting.   But such cases are very rare.   The society at present is facing problems of parenting especially in the case of single parent, divorced parents, simple and extended families. Most of the children brought up by single parent and unmarried mothers, find it difficult to cope with the pressures in the family and society.

Parenting Skills:

            With, hectic work schedule of the parents, the heavy load of learning coupled with  many distractions and the problems faced by the society, the children are looking for the support of their parents for a secure life.    It is ordinarily observed that parenting without proper foundation has always and indefinitely led to confusions in  child development.    What is essential is

Ø  Developing and clarifying clear communicative expectations.

Ø  Staying calm in the midst of turmoil

Ø  Encouraging positive consequences and consistency.

Ø  Being the role model to your child.

Ø  Effective praising.10

To be a successful parent discipline is necessary.  At the same time, there should be consistency in whatever the parents are saying and doing, parents should have a preplanned, pre-developed strategy to teach proper behaviour to the child. That is, both the parents,or the single parent should make their expectations clear to the child. , Both of them can sail smoothly while bringing up their child.    They should be very specific and firm in teaching their children. Moreover, the parents must take into consideration the child’s age, ability, developmental status and the resources that are available for the family.11   Once the expectations are clearly stated, it is necessary that both the parents should communicate it to the child, without contradictions.    In addition to these, there should be frequent family ‘get togethers’.  Instead of punishing the child for not abiding by the expectations, it will be better to have discussions to clear the child’s doubts and parents being role models.

            Ray Burke states that “Children can be sarcastic, defiant, rebellious and possibly violent, parents have to prepare themselves for times like these and learn to keep cool” 12.   Yet another way to increase or encourage desirable behavior is to use positive consequences.    What the parents should remember is to use the positive consequences that would work with the child.   While developing a child’s behavior the parents should remember “consistency”.    Consistency is the key to being a successful parent.    This gives the message to the child that “your parents are reliable and serious”.

            The most important aspect of successful parents is that the parents should be role model for their child 13. The parent should be a positive role model for their child to follow.    As Ray Burke say, “Praise is powerful…. Praise is nourishment.   It helps in the emotional development.  It helps in building up self-esteem, belief of personal satisfaction, feeling of security.”14    The praise should be communicated to the child either verbally or through action.

Parenting Skills :

Ø  Discipline

Ø  Education

Ø  Finance

With the social changes,  the extended family that existed earlier, which played the vital role of a model, a shock absorber, a vent for relieving one’s feelings has become a thing of the past.   Hence, the parents of the modern era have to learn creative ways of bringing up their children.   It is found that the most important but controversial parenting skills is DISCIPLINE.   Whether the method is, redirection, time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, or sparking, the parents should embrace their role to train their children to become moral and respectable adults15. The second skill to be acquired by the parents is regarding education.  The parents should also be educating their children in moral values.   The child’s education should take into consideration certain important facts16:

v  Family’s financial status.

v  Quality of local public and private schools.

v  Level of parental education.

v  Personalities of parents and children.

v  Home schooling support and resources.

v  The involvement of the parents in the child’s education.

Besides education, one of the important parenting skills is the effective way of dealing with financial issues.    The demand for expenditure for rearing the child, medical, hygienic needs etc. are soaring high today.     Hence, a successful parent should know what is essential and what is not before deciding upon the expenditure of the limited resources.

Conclusion

            There is no doubt that children bring us much joy and much responsibility.   Most of the stress and worry of bringing them up can be reduced or removed with proper, careful planning.    The parents should plan when to have a child.   The working mother, if she is to stay at home, once the child is born, should plan earlier to save as much as possible and cut down the family expenditure.   Both the parents have to plan to set aside enough time to be with the child, not only when it is a baby, but till the child becomes an adult.

             The parents, need not be only the problematic, should avail of training in parenting skill as much as possible. First of all, both parents should have a congenial and frank communication between them.   Only then, once the child comes into the family, they will be able to communicate with the child easily.   Further the “ego”, the concept of “I” should be relegated to the background.    It is possible that the child becomes sick at times mildly, at times seriously.    Both the parents should take responsibility of looking after the child, not blaming each other as the cause of sickness.    The child rearing, though filled with difficulties, hurdles and events that test one’s tolerance, is undoubtedly a pleasure.  It is a joy.   A successful parent should know how to smile.    That will reduce the stress and pain of the child.    As it grows into adolescent stage, the skills of the parents should be developed further.    They should know more about the physique, the psychology and mental development of the child.

            It should be remembered that the requisites of  an effective parent are dedication, attention, love and constant denial of easily administering swift punishment. Though parenting is time consuming, the fruits are very attractive.    The future generation and its success depends on the effective, successful and cheerful parents of today to a great extent.

END NOTES

1.       Author’s personal experience

2.       Ibid.

3.       http://www.raisingkids.co.uk 10.14.2008

1. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/614981/authoritative_authoritarian_and_permissive.html
2. The Great Dictionary of English Language (Readers Digest Association Limited, London, 2003) p.56, 57
3. Three Types of Parents: Love and Logic institute – www.loveandlogic.com 1981.
4. http://intentionalparents.com/types-of-parents/ p.1
5. Ibid. p.2.
6. Ibid.p.2
7. http://allp
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